Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Pulled Apart By Horses guest blog

I'm busy today so it seems as good a time as any to hand the blogging reins over to Pulled Apart By Horses, just 24 hours before they record a session for the lovely Huw Stephens at Radio One's Maida Vale studios. (had to drop that one in didn't I?)

Hello big fucking scary blog readers. James from 'Pulled Apart by Hormones' here. Wooopa goo dinner stylee. How are we all doing? Westside? A few too many things are good about BSM and one of them is this gnarly blog they have let us corrupt with our inane banter. We are over the moon to be working with the guys (even though some of them are pretty butch and dress badly) and to be playing on the same side as Tubelord, Blakfish, Secondsmile, etc. Sick as tech soup. Wizard. Hopefully you are aware of us (……..) and our debut release the monsters are throwing around the UK. It's called 'Meat Balloon' and it's our first ever-single release. A 'Meat Balloon' is a type condom, a computer game character, an American sandwich and also a figment of your imagination. The single is pumping around on white 7" vinyl with a free CD and comic book we gone made. Its out on 27th October, Monday. To support the weight of this heavy piece of flesh we are playing gigs, gigs, gigs, galore but not as many as Tubelord because we care for our health.

Meat Balloon Spain/UK tour 2008:

3rd October - RADGEFEST 08' - DANANANANAYKROYD- Newcastle, End Bar
4th October – with Art of burning water & Omerta – Packhorse, Leeds
5th October - This Town Needs Guns & Tubelord - Nottingham, Bodega Social Club
7th October - En Vitoria. El Parral. VITORIA-GASTEIZ, Álava, Spain
8th October - C.S.A. Arrebato ¡ZARAGOZA, LECHE!, Zaragoza, Spain
9th October - Villa de Madrid, Madrid, Spain
10th October - Don Benito, Badajoz, Spain
11th October - Lisbon / Porto / Bragança, Portugal
16th October - supporting - Rolo Tomassi - Amersham Arms, London
18th October - Brainwash Festival w/ Forward Russia -Leeds, Brudenell Social Club
24th October - House party with Rolo Tomassi - Sheffield
25th October - with support - Preston, Mad Ferret
26th October - with support - Glasgow, Captain's Rest
27th October - supporting - Oxes & Bilge Pump - Liverpool, The Kazimier
28th October - Artrocker Club - Single Launch - Buffalo Bar, London
29th October - with support The Regal, Oxford
30th October - with support The Old Angel, Nottingham


We are also making a video for the release at the moment, which will involve us performing in front of blue screens, and then pounds and pounds of fleshy animation will be covering the blue screens like something out of braindead.

Please bomb over to our myspazzer page and take a listen to a clip of the release:

http://www.myspace.com/pulledapartbyhorses

Or simply drink vodka and watch this video instead:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p0QtJMKt1s
Awesome, radical.

Jamesy.xxxx



Monday, 29 September 2008

Reformed Bizkit

So did I tell you that the Limp Bizkit reformation was all my fault? Two weeks ago I buy their Greatest Hitz DVD from Play.com, 7 days later they're back together.

"Fred? It's Play.com. That's right, we've sold one, I told you the fanbase was still there. I'll call Wez, you ring Lethal"

We have Alcopop's finest, This City, playing at our new weekly indie night (You! Me! Dancing!) at The Regal in Oxford this Wednesday. Anyone who came last week can probably still taste free tequila in the back of their throats and probably threw down to emo hit after emo hit on the dancefloor until the very early hours. If you fancy more of the same, you know where to find us.

It's just coming up to 11pm and I'm knackered. It's been a long day of emailing, stamp licking and creative thinking so I'm going to retire now for some US Office action.

Look out for a Pulled Apart By Horses guest blog entry tomorrow, along with some free music and maybe a single pre-order. If you're lucky.

Night.
x


Dreams

Last night I had a series of strange dreams. One involved a Freddy Kruger-esque situation with me being chased by a bunch of axe-wielding masked maniacs, another saw myself and Gemma hop on an impromptu flight to Australia (like you do) where we stumbled across an amazing street party and the other was the standard 'to do list' dream. That's probably the worst of the lot. Your mind just ticks over things which you need to do in the morning, again and again and again and again, until you realise you've been laying there in some sort of half awake, half asleep state, staring at the ceiling and incapable of other thoughts for around two hours. Dreams like this scare you out of bed early but due to the lack of sleep you've received, much of the day is spent staring into space trying to find the energy to move. It's a vicious cycle, and one which will be repeating on me for the next 12 or so hours.

Tubelord's new single 'I Am Azerrad' is released today! If you want one of the 500, lovingly hand drawn and packaged records you should probably head straight down to the shop today as I don't really expect these to be around for long.

This Town Needs Guns popped home last night, having finished up their tour with Jonquil and now ready to brave the big wide world on their own. The dates up until now have been brilliant from all accounts and there are some awesome shows coming up so keep an eye on their Myspace for the details.

I'm busy booking the BSM Christmas tour at the moment. This years will be bigger, better and more exciting than ever before. You'll see.

Time to stop stalling with my blog and do some proper work. If only I could wake up first. I guess I should just be happy the masked men have left me alone, but what I'd do to be in Australia right now!

Friday, 26 September 2008

Crunched credit

The problem with inventing a bank holiday with less than 24 hours notice (on top of the whole 'persuading people to join your ridiculous demi-cult' thing) is that sometimes you don't have time to tell everyone involved. An example: I sent Toby, ex-Meet Me In St Louis singer, an email about MMISL day at roughly 5pm on MMISL eve. He didn't see that until 2pm on Boxing MMISL. A day 1/5 dedicate to him and he missed it. That kinda shit doesn't happen every week you know? It's not something you want to miss out on. But do you know why he missed it? Because he was holed up in his bedroom recording a solo acoustic album. How perfect is that? Even better is that the album is brilliant - imagine Rocky Votolato covering St Louis tracks - and with the raw, sometimes fuzzy recording you can literally picture the man sitting there on his bed, pouring his hairy little heart out into a tape recorder. MMISL day just gets better. Next year we'll have fireworks.

Have you heard the one about four music industry professionals (one major label artist, one major label A&R man, one independent record label owner and one nationwide ticket agency manager) who between them could only scrape together £9.60 in small coins to purchase a carry out from a bar, resulting in two Smirnoff Ice's and two Magners, all in plastic bottles? Glamorous.

Just another high point in a year of financial discomfort. My credit has been crunched.

My computer has learnt a new trick. Long time readers may remember my angry rant about the small and unhappy collection of viruses I seem to have collected over the years, which have nestled themselves in the machine and have taken control of certain operations. Sometimes I can't send emails, sometimes web pages won't open, every now and again programmes vanish from existence, about once a day the speakers stop working and roughly 3 times a day I have to restart the beast just to get the wheels back in motion. Well as of last week its taught itself to switch off at will. Just like that. Gone. And somehow it always knows when I get to the point where I least want it to happen. When I'm 1000 words into an un-saved Word document, whilst I'm reading something important, those kind of times. I now find myself living on the edge, constantly expecting the blank screen. I even have a small area cleared on my desk, just to the right of my mouse, which I've named the punching block. This is where my fist slams when the inevitable happens. It won't be long now.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Boxing MMISL

Thanks to everyone who took part in the MMISL Day festivities yesterday. It was so nice to go onto Facebook and see so many people spreading the word and getting into the spirit of things. The messages posted here also warm my hungover little heart.

We launched our new - and already Oxford's finest - club night, You! Me! Dancing! yesterday. It was brilliant. Brutal and brilliant. The promise of indie hits was lost in a sea of emo classics which saw the dancefloor pumping, drinks flying and lesbians kissing everywhere you looked. The kind people at The Regal allowed us to give everyone a free shot of tequilla upon entry, which is probably the finest way you could ever hope to start a night out and we're really looking forward to getting the party started again next Wednesday. Check out the lineup of amazing live bands (and I don't just say that because a lot of them are BSM affiliates!) and info on Facebook. FYI: Members of the group will be sent vouchers for cheap entry and free drinks.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Happy MMISL day!

What a giant man of a day today is. 24th September 2008 is not only Gemma's birthday (happy birthday, love!), the day we launch our new club night (You! Me! Dancing!) in Oxford, but it's also the first ever Meet Me In St Louis Day! Ivano's here at BSM HQ until 6pm tonight, during which time we'll be pumping 'Variations On Swing' out at neighbour-scaring volume, reminiscing about the good times, playing catchup with emails and maybe baking a cake. Who knows.

Have you ever attempted to create a bank holiday before? It's hard work. On one side you have the believers. Those who are into the cause and willing to give their time and effort to spreading the word. On the other you have the doubters. The difficult few who disagree with the opinion that bank holidays are dull, or, and these are the worst kind, don't appreciate MMISL. I know, I know, dickheads. Still, I'm going to continue with my mission and by 2020 MMISL day will be a worldwide event. There'll be a fair in Guildford which people from every corner of the earth will travel to. Everyone will grow giant beards and wear tiny shorts. People will speak only by quoting lyrics and a race will begin: first one to St Louis wins. Truth is, everyone's a winner. That's what MMISL day is all about. It's about winners.

Support the cause, watch some videos, listen to the album, buy a t-shirt and pay your respects.

Happy MMISL day!


Tuesday, 23 September 2008

MMISL day!

You know things aren't right when you see a tramp with more money than you. And an iPhone! Only in Oxford

So tomorrow is Meet Me In St Louis day. The bands incredible debut (and unfortunately, final) album was released on 24th September 2007 so it seems only right that we make that date some form of celebratory holiday. Ring your boss from the pub and put your best sick voice on, make your mum a 'Happy MMISL day' card, dust down your CD and crank it up loud. It's the best would-be bank holiday of the year.

To help get everyone into the party spirit I've set up a special Meet Me In St Louis minisite over at www.bsmrocks.com/mmisl. There you will find a collection of videos, including a couple of tour montages, a link to stream the record in its entirety, the CD for a special low price, and t-shirts, available to buy online for the first time.

Happy MMISL eve!


Tubelord guest blog

During their month-long tour with rowdy Brummies Blakfish, I asked Tubelord if they could write a little guest entry for Blog Scary Monsters. What came back was nonsense. An insight into the minds of a hard-working band away from home comforts for weeks on end, perhaps? Or maybe just a bunch of guys sick of the smell of farts in the back of a van?


Deal With It.

Wake up at half 2 in the afteernoon.
Consume a cooked car-bah-licous dinner for breakfast.
Probably…curry…or pasta.
Today…is a day.

Deal With It.

Bum-bom-ba-da-dum-dum-da-dum.

This trumpet sounds like a smashed tree.
I and several others have been living outside of reality for a little teeny bit of time. We left society with it's hours of wage and disgruntled opinions on the 21st of July. It may have been a Wednesday, the 21st probably wasn't though.

This is a blog. You are reading it because you either feel you have some sort of respected affiliation with the record label Big Scary Monsters or one of the bands on their roster. We are (at this point of time) one of their bands on the roster.
Everything is starting to lose meaning.

But you know, meaning isn't everything.

So lets get on with it.
The days are repetitive. As is every day………….ever. It's the interactions that effect any sort of difference between this day and the last. Luckily every one of our repetitive days are filled with new people, who may or may not be a fresh perspective but are still playing a part in creating a new scenario for us all.

We bring in all of our gear from the van*, sound-check or just ask each other the same question before someone forms an answer. The gig begins. It is over. There seems to be a party opportunity every night. Drink. Smoke. Crash. Die. Wake Up.
Repeat?

I love being on tour, and would happily carry on right through the year.
But the vacuum of life within this un-reality has almost sucked out all of these unique experiences. Sometime next week we will all return to real life. Every day will involve the same repetitive patterns of action and rules, but this time the scenario will not change and new people will only exist at the weekend.

…Or…I might head back to University again instead. J

Listen to 'I Am Azerrad' and the other songs available soon. If you want, make your own shirts instead of buying them. Visit our friends who also make music and create fantastic imagery using cameras and hands. Keep waking up. Keep sucking it all in, it's just a charade anyway.
Deal With It.

http://www.asktubelord.com/
Keep it cotton.


*the van's name is 'Father', and windscreen wipers are broke and work by the use of an enthralling jigsaw of string-pullys being pulled by either side of the van by one of us. The sliding side door is locked in place. I can't get out.





Monday, 22 September 2008

Vote

I just had the following email:

hi how do i go about getting the band im in signed with u?

That was it. Nothing else, no name, no Myspace link, no detailed discography and list of dietry habbits. How should I respond?

Lets go on a date

What a huge day Saturday was. 14 hours in London is not something I like to do in a month let alone a day, but this was fun. We hit Marylebone for a curry with Andrew WK (who told us about peppers that make you hallucinate, his love of Nathan Barley and that he chose to eat vindaloo because it feels like a party in his mouth), a relaxing break with Ivano and Chloe in Clapham, drinks with Sam Get Cape in Bow and then to the LA2 to see Mr AWK live. The party anthems, energy, wide-eyed excited looks of the crowd and the inexplicably stupid bouncer who just couldn't understand how so many people managed to get past him to stage dive as he hung out flirting with young girls made it a night never to forget. Jack Alcopop lost his mind and sweated more than a human being should be physically capable of. Basically, it was a monster of a day with a perfect ending. Sunday, obviously, was a complete write-off.

"I think that took, Andrew, I'm sure I heard it click"



"Bugger! ok, try again..."

"...I don't think it's working, are you sure you're pressing the right..."



"Damnit I closed my eyes! Oh that'll do"


Coming this week on Blog Scary Monsters:

News of the first ever Meet Me In St Louis (unofficial) bank holiday.

Tubelord and Pulled Apart By Horses (slightly mad) guest blog entries.

Another disturbing look into my spam folder.

News and photos from the You! Me! Dancing! club night launch in Oxford.

Lots of grammatically challenged waffling.

And more photos of dogs dressed as humans


Friday, 19 September 2008

Dwarves and orphans

First it was "mean pirate dwarf" now it's "harmess Dickensian orphan" I'm starting to get the impression that the press just don't like the way Blakfish look!

Earlier on I saw a man drive a tall van under a short overhanging shopfront. It was brilliant. All sorts of carnage, rubble and swearing. Certainly livened up my otherwise boring stroll to the post office.

Kind friends who work for fellow record labels filled my pockets with new CDs the other night. Right now I'm listening to the new TV On The Radio record and have Bon Iver and Senses Fail albums to follow. It's a fairly eclectic bunch, it must be said. Free things from labels you like is definitely one of the perks of this job. Sometimes it nearly balances out the stress.

Just confirmed a Radio One session for Pulled Apart By Horses. It'll be recorded on October 1st and played on air sometime afterwards. Inbetween getting lost in the maze of corridoors and working my way through the BBC canteen menu I'm going to film a bit of the recording for lovely lovely Youtube. Will post it here when it's up online. Check back next week for a guest blog entry from PABH and news of a special giveaway on the Friend of The Family website.

Off to London in the morning for a very long day of partying. Life's a bitch sometimes.

Party hard

It's podcasting time! Episode 8 of the Big Scary Podcast is now up online via the Multimedia page of bsmrocks.com and of course iTunes. This one was recorded down a little side street near the Barfly in Camden - as ever, no expense spared - and features interviews with This Town Needs Guns ("I was vommiting into my eyes") and Mimas ("We're kinda hoping to battle with Hercules") as well as music from them both alongside tracks from Tubelord, Meet Me In St Louis, Secondsmile, Pulled Apart By Horses and the demo of the month from Calories. It's the usual 40 minutes of thrills, spills and awesome music so you should download it, like, right now!

Thanks to everyone who has entered our Friend of The Family competition thus far. Keep em coming. The deadline is about 10 days away.

Tomorrow myself and Gemma are off to London... for lunch... in a hotel... with Andrew WK. Just another normal Saturday really. Anyone going to see him live at the LA2 that night? Should be rocking!

Thursday, 18 September 2008

Pals

Last night Huw Stephens played Pulled Apart By Horses, Tubelord and the sister label Alcopop duo of This City and Sam Isaac on Radio One. That was very friendly of him. An awesome foursome.

This morning I've signed up to Twitter. Not sure I 'get it' just yet but we'll see. Gmail tells me I have 3113 contacts, but when I try to import them into Twitter it says I have none. Weird. So as it stands I have a fairly lonely 7 friends. If you have an account, follow me

In other friend related news, I've updated the BSM Friend Of The Family website. Very much overdue, you'll now find a competition to win copies of the new albums from This Town Needs Guns and Mimas, along with the new 7" from Tubelord, before any of them hit the shops! Wooh. Lemon squeezy question, check it out at www.bsmrocks.com/friend - you'll need to register if you haven't already done so, but that's literally the easiest thing you'll do all day. There are a couple of new and exclusive offers on there too. Money saving deals, vital if you want to keep your music collection tip top during this difficult fiscal period, which non-members simply don't get. We're good to our mates.


Here's an MP3 of 'Friends Forever' by Chariots. Taken from their brilliant album 'Daybreak' which was released via BSM about 3 years ago now. An oldie but a goodie. Download.

Seeya pals



Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Sock puppets

This is how Mimas roll: TheFourOhFive.com - 10/10

They also roll like this:



Last night was a lot more successful than Saturdays trip to Soho. Hell, we even made it with time to spare! The gig was good, Three Trapped Tigers drummer was especially impressive, This Town Needs Guns had a big, happy crowd and despite having to cut 'Panda' at the last minute, still sounded great. They head to Birmingham tonight to continue their tour with Jonquil, who looked less than ready to start a run of UK dates having just driven for 16 hours back across Europe to arrive in London. Bless em.

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Men

Last night I got accidently drunk. It was brilliant, I haven't done that for ages. Paul, manager of the Sam's, Get Cape and Isaac, rang to say he was in Oxford for the night. Myself and Gem popped out for one (non-alcoholic beverage) but all of a sudden it's 4am and I'm struggling to remember what day it is. Somewhere along the way we entered into a "who's manner" competition with a barmaid asked to judge. After a long hard look at the two of us, and a series of quickfire questions about shelving and other macho activities, she still can't decide. Says a lot for the two of us, possibly more so me considering Paul's homosexuality. For a few secpnds I entertain the idea of going home to work out, eat meat, fart and watch loads of porn, but I end up just taking another sip on my medium dry white wine and realise there isn't really any point fighting it.

Sean Keaveny played Tubelord on his 6 Music breakfast show today. Wooh! TUBELORD! TUBELORD!

Tonight we're off to London again, pretty much the exact same area as Saturday, actually. Part of me says this is a bad idea, the other part says that lightning never strikes twice and this will be the incredible night to balance out the previous terrible one. If we make it in time I'm confident it will be the latter, with Jonquil, This Town Needs Guns and Three Trapped Tigers all playing the music will certainly be up to scratch, at least. Kerrang are coming down to review TTNG. Look out for that one in a couple of weeks.

Also, look out for Mimas video, coming very soon. Like, today or tomorrow soon...

PS. This is the 250th post on Blog Scary Monsters. I'm going to celebrate with my fellow men

Monday, 15 September 2008

TTNG pre-order

'Animals' are on the loose! Get your pre-orders for This Town Needs Guns debut album in right now!



I'm currently bubbling with excitement and plans. I've had this idea in my head for ages now but have been struggling to find the right way to put it into practice, and then it struck me. The perfect solution was sitting under my noes this whole time. I can't say anything more just yet, but soon.

Listen to the new Rolo Tomassi album. It'll knock your teeth out and threaten to build you some new ones out of bricks and jazz.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Oh what a night

From now on would you please use www.bsmrocks.com/blog to access Blog Scary Monsters? I've updated the colours and a few other bits to make it fit in with the layout of the website so you can now enjoy the pointlessness of this blog, via the comfortable security of the surrounding bsmrocks.com walls.

Last night was terrible, here's why:

We left Oxford over an hour later than planned. Halfway to London I receive a text telling me that we've missed Colour and Secondsmile. We hit traffic. A text comes through saying Blakfish are on stage in a few minutes. We cross Oxford Street. Excellent, the venue is just down the road from here, can't be long now. "Go straight ahead" says the stupid Sat Nav woman, advising us to cross the road. Obviously she knows a quicker route to help us get there faster, that's her job after all. A mile out of the way we go, taking 20 minutes to get through a crowded Piccadilly Circus and then up a crowded Soho street where people walk in the road and cars are seemingly invisible. Some little idiot punches the car. Another text, Blakfish have finished. We finally arrive, park up on a nearby road we've used before and run to the venue carrying 500 Tubelord CDs (the free ones which are to be packaged inside of the new 7" single sleeves). We reach the venue and the bouncer stands in our way, sour faced and using a rude tone. I know, unlike a security person to be like that, I can only assume his car had also been punched. He claims Tubelord have finished. I tell him in no uncertain terms that if I don't get into that venue my head will explode and I'll be sure to take his with me. He relents and lets me in, but the others have to stay outside. Desperate for a pee I head straight to the toilets. Tubelord are halfway through their encore. The place is packed and everyone is loving it, passing friends tell me it's probably the best they've ever seen all four bands. I emerge from the toilets, boycotting the man who wants money in return for turning a tap on for me, just in time to hear the final note. I give the CDs to the band and leave, disgruntled, dejected and demoralised. We spend a while chatting to the bands outside before struggling to find a bar which is open and doesn't want us to pay for privilege of entering and then giving them more money for drinks. Back to the crowded streets of Soho, thankfully on foot this time. A fat man ushers inside of a quiet looking Moroccan bar. We go downstairs, it looks nice, it seems quiet, this will be a good place to unwind. Upon walking around the corner our eardrums are shattered by the sound of party poppers and a collection of songs I thought I'd left at the school disco's of 1995. The PA system is old and rubbish, it sounds tinny and cuts through your head with every single stabbing sound. The drinks are expensive and everyone else in there is more drunk than me. It gets to around 1am and we decide it's time to go home. We find the car, Sat Nav decides to give us a decent route for once and within a minute we're on the A40 bound for Oxford. We'll be home soon and this night will be over, finally something might be working out. Oh wait, what's that? Ah brilliant, it's a £120 parking ticket stuck to the window.

It's ok, I'll just console myself with a banging hangover and the joy of sorting my accounts today.

Loving life. Peace out.

Friday, 12 September 2008

Lucky number

Only I would be delighted to find that you can now have a Top 17 friends on Myspace. It is the best number though.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

What's really going on in the world



After last months forray into the depths of my spam folder, picking my way through the wealth of Paris Hilton abuse and promises of a "longer weapon", it's time to take another sneaky peak and report - exclusively to you, dear (nay, troubled) readers - what's really going on in the world this week.

"Denzil Washington knew which herbal supplement to take" - Good ol' Denzil. I always knew he had good taste in herbal supplements. I'm pleased for him.

"Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton unite against homeless people" - And the homeless are quaking in their boots, I'm sure. Unfortunately we'll never know as I opted not to continue reading Rajan Thawley's important email having been distracted by...

"Britney Spears shaves head at request of zombie overlord" - I always suspected this, it just makes perfect sense. Thanks, Rosario Achara.

"Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update" - "Paris Hilton Groundhog Day controversy update"

Do you see what I did there? Genius. But all incredibly funny jokes aside, this is a very serious matter. Poor old Paris stuck in her repetitive little world, scared out of her tiny blonde head. At least she can go running about on a giant piano.

Oh no, hold on, that was Big wasn't it?

"Your love rod is set to set her on fire" - Does anyone have a manual? I should probably change the setting before something terrible happens.

But the reward of Spam Of The Week this week goes to Dimitri Hajric for this little gem: "Paris Hilton excited to have French city named after her"

Good night!

Good day

A small number of things have made today a winner. England, to my happy surprise, beat Croatia 4-1 in probably their best performance for quite some time. This shouldn't have an effect on my life, but it does, I can't lie. To make it better I bet on 8 matches tonight, 5 of which have gone my way and the final 3 are all due to kick off in the next hour, meaning that by the time I wake up tomorrow I'll hopefully (assuming there are no freak upsets - which is a BIG assumption when it comes to some of these sides!) be a few pounds richer. In the non-sporting world: I got lots of bits and pieces of work done today, including a few little loose ends which I'd been putting off for a while. The to do list always looks nicer with lots of lines drawn through it. The highlight of the day, however, is indisputable. You know those brilliant moments when you put you find a fiver in an old pair of jeans? Well this afternoon I opened an old bag, attempting to find an empty video cassette case, and out fell seventy mother flippin' quid! 71! I got excited and instantly blew a good third of that at the post office. Easy come easy go. Stupid Royal Mail.

Right now it's just gone midnight, I'm eating egg muffins, watching NFL (Tom Brady, the Patriot's starting quarterback is out for the year - check me out! I'll figure this game out yet) and setting up a Facebook event invite for This Town Needs Guns upcoming tour. Check it out here and add yourself to it.

Speaking of Facebook, we've just crossed the 1000 members mark of the BSM group! I'm a big fan of milestones and this is a good 'un. If you're not yet a member, get on it.



Wednesday, 10 September 2008

And I'm about to break

My dear blog, I feel like I've deserted you over the past few days. I let myself get distracted by the frenzied excitement of Limp Bizkit's 'Greatest Hitz' and forgot the one thing that really matters:



SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! SHUT UP!

Ok ok, I'm back.

The last few days have been mental and even with venting my frustrations via the medium nu-metal it's been an uphill battle to keep things ticking over as they should. I've read so many contracts it is agreed by the undersigned, and witnessed hereupon by, my subconscious is starting to talk like a lawyer within the territory, as set out in clause 2.1.1.a. Nothing makes sense anymore. I've also become a walking directory of delivery dates, addresses and tracking numbers. With This Town Needs Guns album, Tubelord's single and Sam Isaac's EP (released on Alcopop) all due to arrive next Wednesday it's fair to assume I'll be listening to a lot of Spineshank that day. Hell, it's better than the passive aggression shouting at the neighbours thing, even if they will insist on playing loud - and terrible - trance music all day. Do they not realise they live next door to a busy independent record label? No? Weird.

Mimas are currently having a ball touring the UK and will be coming along to the Tubelord, Blakfish and Secondsmile gig at The Metro in London on Saturday for a night of debauched fun before heading back to Denmark on Sunday afternoon. So if you're around, come down, have a drink, dance and wave goodbye.

'Animals' by This Town Needs Guns will be on sale via www.bsmrocks.com from Saturday AND available to buy at shows from Thursday onwards. Unfortunately this means that anyone attending the London and Birmingham dates with Jonquil will miss out. Sorry about that. We tried. There's always next time.

We've agreed two new releases in the last couple of weeks. Both are due out in Q1 2009 and neither will be announced for a few weeks yet I'm afraid. Gutted for you.

I'm trying to get into American Football at the moment. I'd forgotten how difficult it is to learn something so big. My new-found passion for the sport has stemmed from watching the Giants win the Superbowl semi-final in New York last year, seeing the final on TV and then becoming obsessed with Friday Night Lights, a US drama about a Texas high school team. Compelling stuff, I fully recommend it. Anyway, a couple of nights ago I stayed up, cooked some 2am beans on toast and settled down to watch a couple of live games on Sky. Some problems soon set in:

1) I don't know any of the players
2) I only know about 3 teams
3) All talk of "plays" is completely lost on me
4) I don't know the scoring system
5) I don't understand the rules

I've got a long way to go. The only thing I do know is this guy is fast as funk:




Read this: How to entertain small children via the medium of self-mutilation. Why has nobody given this title to a crushing metal album yet? Tomorrows lesson: How to find money behind tiny ears

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

An open letter to Fred Durst

Fred? Kev. Long time listener, first time writer.

This is just a quick note to let you know that after a somewhat disturbing dream yesterday I went on a bit of a nu-metal trip and downloaded your 'Greatest Hitz' record. I'm not going to lie to you Fred, I had low expectations. I anticipated a couple of happy-memory-enducing, heavily downtuned, rock club dancefloor anthems and a lot of chaff holding up the disc. I was wrong. 17 tracks (my favourite number, just so you know for future reference) and a surprising amount of solid material on there. We all know the hits; 'Break Stuff', 'Nookie', 'Faith', 'My Generation', hell I nearly forgot about 'My Way', but you've done a good job here. Your cover of 'Bittersweet Symphony' is everything I hoped it would be having gleefully spotted it on the tracklisting. I know you've had your troubles recently and it must be difficult going from being one of the biggest rockstars on the planet to the poster boy for metal mocking, but I wanted you to know I think you're ok.

On the flipside I also downloaded 'The Best of Korn' - a huge disappointment. The pupil has truly become the teacher here and Jonathan Davis and co could do a lot worse than having a listen through your work and giving themselves a long hard look in the mirror. Then again, what else could you expect from a band who've peddled the same rubbish for so many years? You know what I'm saying, bro! If you were here you'd high-five me now. We'd crack a beer and maybe eat some fried some chicken too.

You'll never see this but that's ok. I know you're a busy guy.

Keep on rocking


Kev



Monday, 8 September 2008

The kombucha mushroom people

This morning I was drifting in and out of consciousness and had a dream that I was at a gig where a surprise support band popped up. Featuring Ross (Secondsmile) on bass, Mudford (ex-Sparks Lights & Flames) on banjo and a little midget carrying around a bass drum which Warne (Secondsmile) whacked from time to time before taking up vocal duties, singing the verse of 'Freak On A Leash' then breaking into the chorus of 'Spiders' by System Of A Down. Oh and he was dressed as Fozzy Bear from The Muppets. Standard, really. The crowd lost their shit when he shouted about the kombucha mushroom people.

Friday, 5 September 2008

Tinnitus

My ears are ringing like sirens today. Mimas played at The Cellar in Oxford last night. I got drunk and stood too close to the PA system. Idiot. Although it was probably worth it really as they were on top form once again. I really can't urge you enough to go and see these guys play whilst they're here. They'll be back in early 2009 but that's way too far away.

Whilst writing the above paragraph I just received an email from This Town Needs Guns, forwarding on a message from the promoter of their show at The Square in Harlow tomorrow night. It read: "Think its gunna be quite busy. Although we recieved a complaint, as have the venue. Apparently locals saw the show advertised in the paper and are objecting to the promotion of guns, especially at a time when its becoming more predominant. Even had the police call up, and The Star might be running a feature" - Big trouble in little Harlow! Get down there and check out the riots.

Just found a new one man electronica band named after the Meet Me In St Louis song, 'The Kid Who Had His Ear Slapped By A Druggist'. Sound pretty cool actually. Kinda like an instrumental Postal Service. Have a listen.

Speaking of MMISL, Toby has sent me the new album from his current band, Shield Your Eyes. Produced by Tim from Part Chimp, it sounds awesome but I've voted it "The Worst Possible Thing To Listen To When You're THIS Hungover." That definitely isn't a reflection of the music, just the condition of my aching head which I've tried to demonstrate through the exaggerated use of bold, italic, capital letters. If I could've drawn a small tear running down the side of the T and a huge drill pounding its way through the S it may have helped that little bit more.

Am I the last person in the world to have discovered the overdubbed G.I. Joe cartoons on Youtube? Take a coffee break and watch:



Porkchop Sandwiches

Gay

Reggae

Belch

PS. I told you that spider (below) was a giant. I don't thnk the photo demonstrates just how much my hand was shaking right then!

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Horses

Mimas came to stay last night. They arrived just after 1am to find myself and Jack sitting here, slaving over Alcopop work, Tubelord came on the radio and then 5 minutes later Alcopop's Hush The Many (Heed The Few) popped up on MTV2. "It's always like this around here" I lied through my teeth. Just one hour earlier the two of us had been shrieking like little girls and taking shaky photos of a horse dressed as a spider, scuttling around my flat. "You can't hoover that one up, it won't fit" warned Jack. "Screw this, I'm moving out" came my rational response.

This Town Needs Guns video (see below) had a solid 1700-odd views yesterday and picked up the following lovely accolades from Youtube:

#66 - Most Discussed (Today) - Music - United Kingdom
#69 - Most Responded (Today) - Music - United Kingdom
#31 - Most Viewed (Today) - Music - United Kingdom
#19 - Most Viewed (Today) - Music - Mexico
#30 - Top Favorites (Today) - Music - United Kingdom
#72 - Top Rated (Today) - Music - United Kingdom

Mexico?! "I want to tour there on a donkey dressed as the Mexican band from the Fast Show" says Chris, TTNG's drummer. Don't we all?


Wednesday, 3 September 2008

This Town Needs air con

We sweated buckets last night, super-huge buckets. This Town Needs Guns, Pennines, Mimas and Colour filled, entertained and eventually destroyed the Camden Barfly as the well over sold out crowd crammed inside the four walls felt their sweat glands kick into overdrive. Walking out into the cold September night straight after was a shock to the system to say the least.

Ultra-busy today. Pulled Apart By Horses single mixes have just come in and sound amazing, TTNG and Mimas album press is starting to take off, Secondsmile are busy booking loads of shows and I'm catching up with Tubelord and Blakfish as they continue their assault on the UK's underground, including a small Polish bar in Derby last night. That tour feels like it's been running for years now, still over a week to go. Madness.

Here's the new This Town Needs Guns video for 'Panda', my favourite track from the new album. Don't tell me this chorus isn't an absolute blinder:

Monday, 1 September 2008

Mimas guest blog

They're here! Mimas arrived in the UK late last night and play the first date of their new tour with This Town Needs Guns, Pennines and Colour in London tomorrow night. Not a bad way to start, hey? Here's a little guest blog from the lovely Danes...


Hi faithful Blog Scary Monsters readers! This blog has momentarily been taken over by Mimas. Don't worry. Kev is still alive and well. And that is what this post is all about. Worries.

How much time do you spend worrying about something worth not to?

Our album 'The Worries' will be released by Big Scary Monsters in October and you can listen to some of the songs
here. Recently we uploaded the song Dads, so that one should be new to you all. If you like the three songs you probably should head over to BSM's website and pre-order the album. Don't worry about the price, it's only £7 if you pre-order... (Yes, that is infact possible!)

Mimas will be coming over for a little tour the next couple of weeks. Although we worried alot when our van 'Satan' was stolen one month ago. Satan has been with us for two years, so that was a very sad moment. Whilst looking everywhere for a new van and worrying about the costs, the police called us and told us that Satan had been found 50 miles away from our hometown next to a pub! Yes! That means that Satan will be going with us on our 10 date tour to England.

We hope to see you at one or more of the following places:

02.09 – London, Barfly
03.09 – Bath, Moles
04.09 – Oxford, The Cellar
05.09 – Bolton, Dog And Partridge
06.09 – Manchester, Dry Bar
07.09 – Birmingham, The Rainbow
09.09 – Brighton, The Hope
10.09 – Southampton, Talking Heads
11.09 – Ipswich, The Swan
12.09 – Norwich, Arts Centre

Hope you're all well, and as Bobby McFerrin put it: Don't worry, be happy.




Lasse, Daniel, Gert, Martin and Snævar