Having returned from London very late last night and now with the un-nerving task of battling through a couple of hundred unread emails, I think it's time to take a well-earned break and bring back one of my personal favourite Blog Scary Monsters features, Myspace Fruit Of The Week...
Seven pages of new friend requests to approve and this one profile picture, somewhat unsurprisingly, jumped right out at me (see below).
Fearing the worst I clicked the link and sat back, muscles clenched, fingers poised ready to pounce at the little x in the top right hand corner of the screen. Here's the first piece of crap which bothered my fearful eyes:
"As he delivers musical blows with incomparable style and strength, like Mohammed Ali in the ring, music entrepreneur Southern Kyd is fresh and ready to generate heat on the map! Not allowing any musical boundaries to limit his creativity, Southern Kyd is clearly on a mission to hit the Industry from all angles!"
Where to begin with such lies? "Incomparable style and strength" is naive at best, although completely deluded is probably more accurate. For "Not allowing any musical boundaries to limit his creativity" read: "Completely musically inept", and "on a mission to hit the industry from all angles" could only be true if producing weak music, making yourself look like a prick and adding inappropriate Myspace friends in bulk were the only 'angles' available in this disgusting triangle of hate.
And now to the music: I'll keep this short and sweet. Every song is entitled 'New Shit' and all feature the same, terrible, repetitive, painful vocal loop. Less 'creative', more 'cretinous'. Leave well alone unless you're looking for a way out of life.