Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Myspace Fruit Of The Week - The Return!

Having returned from London very late last night and now with the un-nerving task of battling through a couple of hundred unread emails, I think it's time to take a well-earned break and bring back one of my personal favourite Blog Scary Monsters features, Myspace Fruit Of The Week...

Southern Kyd

Seven pages of new friend requests to approve and this one profile picture, somewhat unsurprisingly, jumped right out at me (see below).

Fearing the worst I clicked the link and sat back, muscles clenched, fingers poised ready to pounce at the little x in the top right hand corner of the screen. Here's the first piece of crap which bothered my fearful eyes:

"As he delivers musical blows with incomparable style and strength, like Mohammed Ali in the ring, music entrepreneur Southern Kyd is fresh and ready to generate heat on the map! Not allowing any musical boundaries to limit his creativity, Southern Kyd is clearly on a mission to hit the Industry from all angles!"

Where to begin with such lies? "Incomparable style and strength" is naive at best, although completely deluded is probably more accurate. For "Not allowing any musical boundaries to limit his creativity" read: "Completely musically inept", and "on a mission to hit the industry from all angles" could only be true if producing weak music, making yourself look like a prick and adding inappropriate Myspace friends in bulk were the only 'angles' available in this disgusting triangle of hate.

And now to the music: I'll keep this short and sweet. Every song is entitled 'New Shit' and all feature the same, terrible, repetitive, painful vocal loop. Less 'creative', more 'cretinous'. Leave well alone unless you're looking for a way out of life.

Myspace: www.myspace.com/southernkyd

7 comments:

Front Room Records said...

lol after about 2mins of wondering why "I'm deep in the south" was being etched into my brain i snooped around and discovered the lag and anoying vocal loops are (in Southern Kyd's own words "for protecting the song from bein' sampled"

Genius

Kev said...

I didn't even notice that! Explains a lot but doesn't make it any better. Stupid Southern Kyd!

Front Room Records said...

Not gunna put that all over the BSM tracks then! "BIG SCARY MONSTERS"

Anonymous said...

I must say, the best part is his school report on the bottom of the About Me section.

JTM said...

This is the second most awful thing I have heard this week, the first being a guy called Declan McGilloway who makes Southern Kyd sound like John Williams with his command of music.

"Ahm deeep in the Soooouth" - too much lolz, too short a life...

Can we go back to talking about how awesome PABH are now? :)

Kev said...

I definately think that talking about how awesome PABH are is more productive than discussing our least favourite thing about Southern Kyd. After all, that's a conversation which could last for years!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! After an evening spent winding this moron up, finally, finally, he deleted me.