Spam and post

My Postman is probably the best Postman in the world. He's cliched to the point of skipping around in shorts (even today, completely disregarding the frost still on the ground outside) and each morning knocks on my door with a friendly call of "Postman." The unbridled joy in his voice made me get up and run to the door. Nothing makes me get up and run to the door! This man is special. I better make sure I don't upset him like the one at my old house.

My early morning happy experience has left me feeling brave so I'm taking my third (following this and this) peak into the seedy world of spam. Here are some of the many highlights from the Gmail folder today:

Be a real man with a larger organ




How to climb Mount Everest blind

That sounds like a drunken challenge to me


Rock hard and huge

Mount Everest? Wait... No, that was the last one


Goodiest

Vague and utter nonsense


Real job and real salary

I'll take it!


Women will be standing behind your door just to touch your Submariner watch

Seems an odd place to wait. Come in, ladies, there's enough watch to go around


Impress them with your large pole




Attack her all night

I'm sorry, what?!


Some tips to make his wife happier

I don't think "he" will be best pleased


Enter your second puberty

No thanks. The first one was tough enough


Stop being jealous of rich looking men

Done


Your big pecker will eat her alive