It must be the school holidays as everytime I look out of my window I see kids rolling past. And I mean rolling. In my day they didn't build tiny wheels into the bottoms of shoes. What is this new and bizarre fad? Kids are all about multi-tasking these days.
Well as you may have noticed I lost yet another 15p football accumulator this weekend. Bit annoying, I thought this was going to be a winner but I ended up very, very wrong. Millionaire status will have to wait another week.
I just poured the best part of half a pint of orange squash into my keyboard. Obviously I didn't mean to, but the poor thing has had gallons over the last couple of clumsy years. My whole computer is on it's way out anyway. Outlook has decided it won't send anymore emails until I clear some of the 20,000 out of my sent folder, the fan keeps coming on and making a terrifying noise every couple of minutes, the keys are swimming in orange and I have to reset the machine twice a day. It has this little system whereby it slowly crashes in five stages:
1) BBC webpages suddenly stop loading
2) The sound stops working
3) The internet completely packs up
4) The fan gets even louder
5) Everything freezes in strange white blocks across the screen
It's a bitch.
Yesterday, whilst yelling and punching the table as stage four set in for the second time that day, I made myself a promise that I would buy a brand new laptop the very next time I receive more than £1000 in a lump sum. This could be from a large distributors payment, a freelance work invoice, a huge football gambling win or finding a wad of cash on the street. I have cartoon montage daydreams of me and my laptop skipping happily across meadows clutching onto one another, having a great time on a train watching episodes of Scrubs together, travelling the world hand in hand and downing pints of orange together in a sunny garden. Ahh. If any rich readers out there (that's one bit of info Google Stats doesn't tell you!) fancy making this struggling independent record label very happy, I'll meet you at PC World.